Francis Chan is pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, California, and is author of the book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God.
One of his quotes is: “The answer… isn’t a list of do’s and don’t's, it’s falling in love with God.” His personal story is that two weeks after he was married he told his new bride that he felt that God was calling him to start a church. Her attitude was that if that is what God was leading Francis to do, he should do it, and she would fully support him. Years later he has a sizable church and feels incredibly loved by his wife’s belief in God working through him.
One of his takeaways is that marriage should have a bigger calling than just being happy. We need to be thinking as a couple how the two of us together can be impacting the world for Christ, and how we can be doing it better as a team, than as individuals. Our lives should be more than just focusing on our marriage, but focusing our marriage toward what God’s mission is for us as a couple. There is something bigger than our marriage and there needs to be a mission to it.
Part of the way they do that in their marriage is by having others live with them. They also live a reduced lifestyle so that they can give more to missions around the world.
Something profound that he said is that there has never been a divorce when both partners are walking in the Spirit because when you are walking in the Spirit you are undivided. God does not divide you and lead you in two directions. God wrote the Word through the leading of His Holy Spirit and He said that he hates divorce, so why would His Spirit be leading two people to do something contrary to His Word?!
He also emphasized that each partner needs undivided devotion to the Lord, and as they do, the marriage becomes stronger.