Sometimes it helps me to listen to worship and sometimes I either don’t have my CD player or I’m bored with my CD’s. A couple of places I have found to listen to worship on the internet are www.integritymusic.com and www.relevantchurch.com.

I have also copied many of my CD’s onto my computer for my own personal use. Sometimes I let it randomize the playlist so that I do not get bored with one artist. Playing worship music does minister something deep in my soul.

Anyone else have some great ideas for finding worship music cheaply or keeping it fresh?

In connection with the movie “Fireproof” there is a new website at www.fireproofmymarriage.com that has some awesome resources for marriage.

At times I ponder this whole concept of our culture moving away from monogamous lifetime marriage as the norm, to other lifestyles – cohabiting, gay marriage, multiple marriages and multiple divorces in a lifetime.

It is easy to get on our Christian high horse about all of this, but since the nation used to be very heavily Christian I ponder where we as the church went wrong and how to appeal to a whole new generation that has been raised in a post-Christian culture.

As I read various stories and listen to people I realize that many people who are in alternative lifestyles have been deeply wounded – at times wounded by the Church or people in the church – unnecessarily. Doesn’t mean I agree with their choices.

Many ardent feminists have been deeply hurt by men in their past. A lot of cohabiting couples have watched their parents’ marriages breakup and don’t want to repeat the past, or to make lifetime promises that they don’t think they can keep.

I heard something awhile back “Hurting people, hurt people.”

I don’t have all of the answers. The one thing I know is to keep working diligently on my own marriage so that we can be an example for others. One of my heart’s desires is to have a marriage that others who are observing us and knowing us would want. One marriage at a time, we can change this culture.

I just read an interesting article in “The Saturday Evening Post” July/August edition. The title was “Marriage Makeover: Reinventing Date Night”. The article talked about several studies of long-term couples where the goal was to see if adding novelty to a relationship or to date nights helped the relationship. Things like changing restaurants or trying new things together. The article also talked about brain science and brain scans as related to things people could do in marriage that changed their brain chemistry for the positive.

It just reminded me of the importance of trying new things with my wife. It doesn’t have to be anything totally crazy like sky diving, but just little things – a different restaurant, style of movie, or date night being a different day/time of the week. Just simple changes may make a big difference.

I just watched the trailer for Fireproof The Movie at www.fireproofthemovie.com. The background words were “Fireproof: Never Leave Your Partner Behind.” This is a movie about saving a marriage from the same group that made the movie Facing the Giants. The setting is in context of a married man who is in the Fire and Rescue business.

The movie opens in September although in some cities across the country there have been preview showings for community leaders to inspire them to promote the movie. I encourage you to watch the trailer. I was in tears and it only lasted 2 minutes 11 seconds.

One thing I have slowly learned is that there is special power in praying the Word of God. One Scripture I have found especially helpful to pray aloud on a regular basis is Psalm 51, which is David’s prayer after his adultery with Bathsheba. Is there any one of us who couldn’t use some help cleaning our hearts even if we haven’t sinned in the manner that David did?

From the New International Version at www.biblegateway.com.

Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
When the prophet Nathan came to him after
David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

If you are the type of person who really wants to keep their pulse on what is happening in the marriage education field I highly suggest that you go to www.smartmarriages.com and subscribe to their newslist. Diane Sollee references boatloads of articles, materials, resources and more on an almost daily basis. Some of what I mention on this blog are things she has brought to my attention.

The Tampa Tribune ran an article on July 14 questioning whether money being spent by the Feds on marriage education is worth it. Reasonable question to ask and discuss, but I found this quote humorous in a sad way.

“For $1.5 billion Washington could buy every household a subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine and call it a day.”

Cosmo over the years hasn’t exactly hailed marriage as the highest value although they are putting more emphasis on long term relationships. I am sure Helen Gurley Brown would love $1.5 billion to help with her retirement.

Here is link for the article http://tinyurl.com/6pjtu5

Here are some quotes to ponder from the recent 2008 Smart Marriages Conference (www.smartmarriages.com).

Dr. Gary Chapman: Many couples love each other but don’t know how to
connect. Sacrificing for one’s spouse is important. When it (a service for your spouse) doesn’t come naturally, it’s actually a greater expression of love. We must learn to speak one another’s love language. [Personal Note: So often this has been true in our own marriage, loving each other, longing for connection, and not knowing how. PAIRS has helped us in this area.]

Dr. John Gray: Men talk to solve problems; women talk to express feelings. [Interesting thought, and probably spot on for the majority of men and women.]

Dennis Stoica (Director, California Healthy Marriage Initiative): Marriage matters to children. Divorce is hard on kids and it is a serious national problem.

Michelle Weiner-Davis: (Founder, Divorce Buster Programs): Real giving means giving what your spouse wants – no matter if you don’t understand it – it’s mutual caring. [Sounds like the Philippians 2 kind of love where you look out for the interest of others like Christ did. Oh so hard to do, but so wonderful when you do.]

Dr. Sue Johnson (Sociologist and author): Without empathy and secure connection there can be no real love. All humans need nurturing, soothing and protection. Key moment which defines forgiveness: when the injured party looks into the eyes of the offender and sees that their pain matters. They have to see it in their faces.

Dr. Steven Stosny (Author and founder of www.compassionworks.com): You can turn your resentful, angry or emotionally abusive relationship into a compassionate, loving one. The urge to improve, appreciate, connect or protect are the motivations of our core values. The experience of value gives you meaning and purpose. Crime goes up when the sense of community goes down. People feel disconnected.

In Florida there is a new campaign to advertise marriage education called www.ihatehimsomuch.com. When you go to the link you get access to some good resources. I really like creative marketing that gets you thinking.