During our separation, I spent alot of time focused on what God wanted me to do. I will continue to share some of that journey and those thoughts and my conclusions in this blog.
Our situation was made easier in that Sharon and I were both Christians and we both accepted one another as Christians (not that all of our actions or reactions were Christ-like). Neither one of us was involved in an affair. Neither of us had a major addiction such as drugs or alcohol. In the time just before our separation, but more during it, my anger started to surface. I never hit Sharon, although I exploded in a rage some in her presence; she had a legitimate concern about what I might do.
Now that we are helping other couples, and have privy to seeing a more broad range of marital/ divorce situations, I realizing many issues that I didn’t personally have to face; but people are asking me what I think about this or that. I am going back and reading and reflecting more on some materials I picked up during our separation on broader issues so I can either give a more definitive response from a Biblical perspective, or I can point people to some good solid resources with a reasoned Biblical view on lots of the nuances in these situations.
I will remind people to check with their pastors also. I am working with people from many church backgrounds, and the various pastors and denominations have different views on many issues. The more I read the more I realize that marriage, divorce and remarriage are complicated areas in life, and even pastors who have studied, preached, and counseled for years are rethinking some of their beliefs. What I do think that I need to emphasize over and over again is that people need to dig into the Bible, dig into the books, spending their own time in serious and prayer and study about their personal circumstances. They have to live the rest of their lives with the decisions they make in these times, and I hope to encourage them to really wrestle with God over these decisions. Don’t completely rely on my viewpoint, their pastor, a book, or convential wisdom to make their decisions for them. But rely on God.
Lately, in addition to just studying the scriptures for myself like I shared elsewhere in this blog, I have been studying “Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible” by Jay Adams, the writings and blogging of John Piper and others at CBMW and at Desiring God, and “Marriage and Divorce, God’s Call, God’s Compassion” by M. G. McLuhan.