Often, I hear people who really don’t want a divorce resigning themselves to it, seeming to think that a divorce, although not God’s best, will at least end the pain. I try to encourage them to hang on and keep trying even when it seems hopeless, knowing that a lot more pain lies ahead.
When I was tempted to give in to the fact my wife wanted a divorce, I would find another book to read and realize that it was worth continuing to try. One book I wasn’t aware of at the time was Between Two Worlds by Elizabeth Marquardt. She writes about the pain she has faced in her adult life dealing with her parents divorce when she was a child.
New Life After Divorce by Bill Butterworth is a book I recently came across. He is very authentic about the pain he went through after his divorce. He did eventually remarry.
Part of me just got inspired to carry on so that the kids would not have to deal with the life long pain of their parents’ divorce. There were lots of video clips in Divorce Care and Choosing Wisely Before You Divorce about the children’s pain.
When a person thinks “Well, I will just start dating again and remarry”, I hope they listen to what Divorce Care says, that on the average it takes four years to heal for every five years of marriage before you are really ready to date again. So the message is, if at all possible, “Abort the divorce.”