"I want to do everything possible to save my marriage."

I often hear statements from spouses along the lines of “I will do anything to save my marriage.” or “I want to know that I have done everything possible to save my marriage.”

I heard once during our separation that someone said “Do everything you can think of to save your marriage, and when you are done with that, God is just ready to get started.” That inspired me to keep trying when things looked hopeless.

Here is a quick list of resources to help you on this blog but there are many other things to try. If you do browse this blog you will also find some testimonies about some of the things that I did.

1. Absolutely refuse to sign a voluntary dissolution. Let your spouse pursue you all the way through the court system and allow the judge to make the decision. Hopefully they will not pursue it that far. Find more of my thoughts under the post called “Let No Man Put Asunder”.

2. Start fasting on a regular basis whether that is on counseling days, or one day a week, or eventually a long term fast of 21-40 days.

3. Listen to DVD’s and do the workbook for Choosing Wisely Before You Divorce. Listen closely to the reconciliation testimonies.

4. Read A Stander’s Affirmation here. Decide if you can truthfully say it, then pray it, and hold on.

5. Do Marriage 911 at http://www.reconcilinggodsway.org/.

6. Join a Divorce Care group (You can find one at http://www.divorcecare.org/). Pay particular attention to the sections on reconciliation and the testimonies.

7. Seek out marriage testimonies of reconciled marriages in person, on the web, and in books.

8. Get counseling/mentoring/coaching for any life issues you have such as drugs/alcohol/sex addiction/depression/etc.

9. Get people praying for you, whether pastors/elders/ friends. Go forward for special prayer at worship services. Some websites have places for prayer requests including http://www.rejoiceministries.org/.

10. Go for some sort of intensive prayer counseling and work prayer into your life in a new and special way. See my prayer links on this blog.

You may be asking, “What about my spouse?” Personally, I believe the key is allowing God to change you, then on your behalf, He may move to change your spouse’s heart.

I know this is a lot of information. If it is overwhelming, pick out a couple of things and get started then add more later. If you have done all of these things listed and you still aren’t reconciled try some other resources from this blog, try some other things that God has shown you, contact a community marriage resource center, or ask your counselor for more resources.

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