Marriage vs. Children: Which Should Be More Primary?

Something to ponder. In God’s eyes is our marriage the most important permanent relationship in our lives, or is the relationship with our children?

My personal view is that marriage is more important when a choice has to be made. Jesus said “Let no man put asunder what God has joined together.” God has united us with our spouse in a special bond. He does hold the parent/child relationship in high esteem, but I believe marriage is the more important.

If you think about a typical lifespan a person might be single for 20 or 25 years before marriage. In most circumstances children are only in the home for 18 to 20 years and by then they should be fully functioning independent adults.

Even if a couple gets married at 25 they can have their 50th wedding anniversary and only be 75 years old. Of those fifty years maybe 20 or 25 had children in the home if they had two or three children with a couple of years in between.

So bottom line is typically the marriage years last a lot longer than the child rearing years.

Another thing to ponder. Why do so often parents seem to be able to forgive their kids for a myriad of behaviors, still love and accept them and have hope for a better day? But so often, if serious issues or behaviors appear in their marriage, a spouse quickly looks for ways that a divorce would be biblically justified so they can be free of their spouse and the spouse’s problems. Why do they seem to have little hope that the spouse will ever change, but can believe and hope their children can?

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