Let No Man Put Asunder

Jesus words “Let no man put asunder what God has joined together” helped me to stay firm in my commitment to marriage, even when my wife had made it quite clear that she was done, that she was planning to divorce me, and that she no longer wanted to try to reconcile our marriage.

She did ask me to agree to a dissolution of our marriage. I firmly, but politely, refused. My legal understanding of a dissolution is that you and your spouse jointly agree on all the issues of dissolution as far as finances, child custody, etc., and then you ask a judge to terminate your marriage. To me, to go through that process, would be for me to be a part of “putting asunder what God had joined together.”

So, the only option my wife was left with was to file for divorce, which is a lawsuit where one party asks the judge to terminate the marriage. Under no-fault divorce laws a spouse can eventually get a divorce.

Thankfully, she never took action to file for divorce. I am glad I did say no to the dissolution, even though it would have been seemingly the easier, cheaper way out at the time. I didn’t think it was the godly way to go about ending our marriage when He had made it so clear that He hates divorce and that He doesn’t want us putting our marriages asunder.

It seems to me that Jesus very closely linked his command, “Let no man put asunder what God has joined together” with His statement “The two shall become one flesh”.

(See prior post about “One Flesh”)

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2 Responses to Let No Man Put Asunder

  1. Michele Bailey says:

    You have an interesting perspective of the dissolution process. When I told my attorney “I don’t want a divorce” I think he had to probably keep himself from laughing. He said “you don’t have any choice!” I tried to resist the process and did until we were finally assigned a court date.

    We both showed up to our court date without representation. My husband said to me do you want to just go to mediation or get an extension? I said “no lets just get it over with.” He filed for divorce and then basically did nothing up to that point. It was very hard being in limbo. His attorney eventually stopped representing him for lack of payment. I never perceived him as having second thoughts about his desire for the divorce, though. The times I tried talking to him, he never said he wanted anything different. He did say in a conversation a while back that “this is what I wanted” (referring to me). I don’t know how things got so twisted. Looking back on this conversation at the courthouse, I wonder now if it was his way of stalling. At the time I didn’t perceive it that way at all. We left the courthouse that day divorced. What a shock. I thought the judge would send us to mediation or something. What a sad day. I have obviously made a mess of things. I am trusting the Lord to guide me and pray that restoration is in His plan.

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