In an earlier post I shared personally why I am convinced from my own life experience that there truly is something special in marriage that Jesus referred to as “becoming one flesh.”
In this post, I want to share some observations I have made of other situations.
During our separation I participated in three different Divorce Care groups. These are small groups of people who are separated or divorced. The format is to watch a video about issues surrounding separation and divorce, and then to discuss as a group the video plus our own personal experiences. (Since our reconciliation I have facilitated several Divorce Care groups.)
From this vantage point I made several observations that convince me even more strongly that the “one flesh” bond is very real. I have observed a man being crushed emotionally after his wife wanted out of a very short (less than one year) marriage with no kids. I have seen a woman who had been divorced several years in what she called a “good divorce” (i.e. no kids, they still saw one another, and no major “war” between them) still struggling after several years.
I have observed a woman separated from a long term live-in going through the same struggles as those who have been married and then separated or divorced. I have watched men whose wives had affairs, and women whose husbands had affairs, be rattled to the core. I have talked to a woman who divorced years ago because her husband was having affairs, still wishing that, for her son’s sake, she would have tried even harder to save her marriage.
There really does seem to be something very special about this bond.
Part of my perplexed mindset now is how to get spouses who want their marriage to work even when their spouse wants out to keep holding on. And, how to encourage spouses who think getting out is such a great thing, to slow down and continue to try.