Genesis 3:16 says, “To the woman He said, ‘I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.'”
Several years ago I heard a tape from the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood http://www.cbmw.org/ by a man named John Piper http://www.desiringgod.org/
that gave me a whole new insight into this scripture.
He made the point that this Scripture is describing the condition of men and woman after the Fall and before Christ’s redemption. This is a description of fallen marriage, not redeemed marriage.
The key point he made was that the word “desire” in this passage is the same word as where God warned Cain that “Satan desired to rule him”. In her fallen nature a woman will try to control a man, and in his fallen nature a man, by his brute force, will rule over a woman. Not a pretty picture of marriage.
The hope is Christ came to redeem all of that. His way is spelled out so well by the apostle Paul when he talks about men loving their wives as Christ loved the church and wives respecting their husbands.
I found a sermon where John Piper develops this whole concept of fallen marriage in a very understandable way.
Hope this encourages you as it did me.