One thing I have noticed in my own reconciliation and in struggling marriages is that people get to a fork in the road where they have to decide – am I going to proceed in life under the assumption that I am married and will continue to be married even when it doesn’t look good, or am I going to proceed assuming that I probably won’t be married, but hoping that maybe we will reconcile?
Actions that indicate you are on the road to staying married, in spite of appearances otherwise, are things such as:
- You continue to allow your spouse access to your accounts
- You continue to reach out to your spouse
- If you have been paying certain expenses, you continue that or increase it
- You refuse to date others
- You keep your wedding ring on
- Continuing to send small notes, cards, gifts to your spouse even if they are rejected
Actions that indicate that you are assuming you are getting divorced, maybe even as you are saying you really want to reconcile, are things such as:
- Dating others
- Restricting bank accounts
- Cutting back on what you are providing to your spouse
- Taking off your wedding ring
- Eliminating notes, cards, gifts etc. to your spouse
I remember a Scripture in the Old Testament when Joshua was addressing Israel and God said, “Today I set before you death and life, chose life.” Even if your marriage looks dead, remember God is in the business of resurrection – He raised Christ from the grave.