As I have listened to and read stories of marriage reconciliations one common theme has been that at some point in time, one partner or the other put their foot down even when things looked hopeless and said “No Divorce!”.
In my case when my wife wanted a dissolution, I calmly told her that Jesus had said “Let no man put asunder what God has joined together”. So for me to sign a dissolution would be to participate in ending my marriage and I could not in good conscience do that.
An incident that probably cemented my commitment was when I walked outside of our home and in a booming voice said something like “Spirit of divorce, in the name of Jesus, be gone.”
I can give testimony and can point to other testimonies, but at least one person in a struggling marriage has to somehow get to that bottom line determination to fight for their marriage with all they have and that is often when things look hopeless. It is not something I can teach anyone, they have to wrestle it out with God until they get there in their own unique way.
Rejoice Ministries is one of the best resources for inspiration and practical advice for those prepared to stand for their marriage with all they have. Another good resource is Divorce Busting with Michelle Weiner-Davis.