Wedding Rings During Separation

I am always discouraged when I notice people take off their wedding rings during a separation, especially if they say they want the marriage to be reconciled.

Many of the ring ceremonies I have heard at weddings have talked about the ring being a symbol of unending love.

It seems premature to me to take off your ring before you are divorced when you say you want the marriage reconciled. When a person takes their ring off does that mean they are giving up their commitment to love?

I am thankful that I kept mine on during our separation. It was a symbol that often reminded me of my commitment to Sharon. I think it also protected me from other women because they knew I was married.

Thankfully even though Sharon was planning to divorce me she never took her ring off. Almost every time I came into her presence I checked to see that she was wearing it. I was always afraid that she wouldn’t be, but always had a slim ray of hope when I saw it.

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8 Responses to Wedding Rings During Separation

  1. Dave says:

    Interesting topic, I’ve been continuing to wear (the ring) and beginning to feel like, whats the use anyway, seeing that there isn’t a thread left to hold to other than my belief in the institution of marriage…

    • richwildman says:

      I am sorry for your pain. I can testify that wearing my ring, inspired me to hold on to hope for my marriage which was as good as dead until Jesus resurrected it. It also reminded me of the commitment I had made to love my wife as long as I lived for better or worse, and separation was definitely for worse. In most ring ceremonies that man makes his promise before the wife makes any- the promises are not conditioned upon her response.

  2. Sara says:

    I found out my husband cheating with multiple momen. When I found about it for the second time, he told me he did not care and he is a man, so he has a different need. He never wore a ring. He never apologized for what he had been doing. I left our house and now live alone and still wearing a ring but I feel like taking it off. I don’t see any future for us.

    • sewildman says:

      Sara,
      I’m so sorry for your pain and for your situation. It’s never easy to know what to do as to the rings. We will be praying for you and for your husband. We have found that as long as you allow God into your heart and look to Him for the answers, He will guide you . . . and there is always hope.

  3. Tony says:

    Been going through the most painful separation leading to divorce. I think the wedding ring held the last piece of hope for me, she knew how I felt about the meaning of the band, it’s bold statement of love and commitment, and she boldly took it off …. I guess my mum used to say with such conviction, that she would wear these rings and hold on to the memory it has in her heart forever, even after dad dies … she even ask to be buried with the rings on … I guess love can die and commitment flush away with out too much drama these days. Deeply broken

    • RichWildman says:

      I am so sorry for your pain. Sorry your wife gave up. You might want to check out Divorcecare.org. Even though we were separated but never divorced, Divorce Care was hugely helpful to me in processing my pain of separation and I know the pain of divorce is even worse.

  4. Bret says:

    So I am currently separated from my wife and children. At first I wasn’t wearing my wedding ring but noticed that she had been wearing it recently. So I decided to continue to wear mine. The past couple of days I noticed she wears the ring on her right hand instead of her left. What does this mean? Is there a separation weddings ring code unknown to me?
    Any input would be appreciated. Would love to reconcile but am moving forward with my life.

    • RichWildman says:

      I really don’t know what it means. Might be wise to ask her. Regardless of what she says, I would seek God about what you are supposed to do about wearing yours.

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