Thoughts on Death

As Sharon mentioned in a recent post, my mother passed away in early December which has brought on a time of reflection about how fragile life is and how none of us knows how long we have left on this earth. She had some health issues that doctors were researching but nothing that was raising emergency warning flags. She had just seen my brother, drove home a mile, apparently went to get ready for bed in the bathroom, and suffered a burst aortic aneurysm; her life over at 81. Her mother had lived until she was 98 years old, so we thought Mother had a pretty good chance for quite a few more years.

After Mother’s death, a contractor, whom I have done business with on the farm, passed away very unexpectedly at 52 years of age. His passing again brought home the realization of how young my dad was when he died of a massive heart attack at 50 years old. I always knew in my head that Dad was young but to know someone about the same age who has died suddenly just gives me new perspective.

One thing that I often think people overlook when they think divorce is going to solve their problems is that if they have children with their ex-spouse they are tied to that person the rest of their lives through major life and death events.

I felt so sad recently for a  lady I know. Her ex-husband, with whom she had her children, had divorced her after 25 years of marriage and gone on with other women in his life. At his death she felt very left out in not feeling welcome to go to the calling hours or the funeral with the current wife there. She was puzzled how she was to grieve all of it appropriately. At other times I have witnessed the ex-spouse showing up at the calling hours and things were tense. Bottom line is that divorce tends to have many unintended consequences for many years.

I was so thankful at the time of my mother’s passing that Sharon and I had reconciled and that she was with me to comfort me and both of us to walk through all of the varied emotions with our children. Hard for me to imagine what  all of that would have looked if we had been divorced. Times like these are good reminders to live life to the fullest and to treasure our relationships.

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