I keep wrestling with what to say to struggling couples to really inspire them to go all out in saving their marriage. I keep practicing a message if a struggling couple comes to me wanting help.
I am so sorry that you are in pain as a couple. My wife and I have lived through a 16-month separation before reconciling, by God’s grace. I know these times are extremely painful for you. I want to tell you that there is hope, but to get to a better place it is going to take hard work, determination, and, probably surviving some more pain.
I plead with both of you to go together and see the movie “Fireproof”. Please be open to letting God work in your hearts. When you have seen the movie, I would like you to each get a copy of the book The Love Dare. I would like each of you to start doing The Love Dare individually. If there is something in there that just seems too difficult, please pray about it, and if you need to, email me and I’ll give you encouragement and pray for you. This resource was not available when we were separated, but many of the principles are ones God lead me through on our road to healing.
The neat thing about The Love Dare is that it will teach you practical Biblical ways to love your spouse. The Apostle Paul told us that love never fails.
I have participated in multiple Divorce Care groups (a divorce recovery group), and have known people who have gone through divorce. I have witnessed the pain people were having because of adultery, demolished finances, struggling children, etc. Please don’t go down that road; dare to love one another no matter how tough it is. It will be worth it.
Readers: Does anyone have ideas how to make effective appeals to couples to hold onto their marriages, regardless of whether Fireproof resources are part of the picture? Please share them with me, as I am always looking for more and better ways to encourage couples to fight for their marriages.