I once read in a book about a man whose wife had told him that after many years of marriage she had no feelings for him. He went to the refrigerator to get milk and collapsed in grief and pain with the milk in his hands. In that moment he made the determination that he didn’t know how he was going to do it, but he was not going to let his marriage end up in divorce.
I know a lady whose husband had alcohol and women problems. She and some friends did an intervention to get him into intensive therapy. Somewhere during that time she made the decision that she was not divorcing.
Another friend of mine was confronted by his wife about his physical abuse of her. This ex-Navy, macho man humbled himself and went to a female therapist to deal with his anger. He also realized that he and his wife had a communication problem so he started devouring books on communication.
Charlyne from Rejoice Ministries went to her pastors years ago about her husband’s womanizing, etc. They told her to get a divorce and she did, but then was convicted by God that she shouldn’t have gotten a divorce and she was to pray and fast for her husband. Eventually he gave up the affair, came home to her loving arms, and now they have been in marriage ministry over 20 years.
I cannot teach you how to get to that point of absolute determination to hang onto your marriage in spite of a seemingly hopeless situation, but maybe some of these stories will inspire you.