Over the last several years I have had conversations with quite a few men early in their marriage crises. A typical scenario has often been that when the wife says she is done with the marriage and the man first contacts me he is often in shock, very emotional, and indicates that he is willing to do almost anything to save his marriage.
What has surprised me is how fast some men go from that emotional state to one of just giving up – accepting that the marriage is over, doing whatever legally has to be done to end the marriage – “to give her what she wants” – and heading on down the road. It saddens and frustrates me when the turn is relatively quick.
One of the fastest I ever saw was when I was contacted in August then by Fall the man and his wife had a separation agreement in place. By Christmas he was dating (the state he lived in required a one year waiting period for a divorce after separation), and when that waiting period ended the next Fall, the paperwork went through to end the marriage.
So often after that “giving up” stage on the man’s part, he seems to have little interest in hearing how God worked in our marriage or in researching or using any resources that might give him hope for his marriage. It is at times like these that I really don’t know what to say to inspire the man to slow down and keep trying and fighting for his marriage.