I had an opportunity the other day to review many of the emails, letters, and psychological tests from the time of our separation. I could see where both of us in our own time and way honestly and intensely sought God. We both had made good faith overtures to the other.
For myself, it is amazing the intensity of some of the emotions I had, and sad to realize how deeply I hurt my family by not handling those emotions properly. I am thankful for those who stood by us through the turmoil – pastors, elders, friends, and counselors. They went on quite a ride also and often didn’t know what to do. After remembering where we were in our relationship, I’m so thankful that Jesus brought us to a better place.
For those in the middle of struggle for your marriage my biggest encouragement is to reach out to God and pour your heart out to Him. Reading through the Psalms and using some of them as a prayer pattern or prayer inspiration can be very helpful. I was just reading some today and realized again how much David cried out to God and God answered him.
After you have reached out to God and are allowing Him to work in your own life, keep looking for the good in your spouse and respond in love to whatever positive gestures they make to you even if those are small. This separation and reconciliation stuff is just tough sledding, but with God all things are possible and love never fails.