One thing I came to realize during our separation was that even though over the years I had not been primarily an exploder when it came to anger I still had a lot of buried anger and it came out in passive-aggressive ways.
As a man I never realized until later how scary even my internalized anger could be to my wife and kids. They would see a look in my face or hear my angry tone of voice. Sad to say that one day when I was home with the kids alone I reacted to an upsetting message by mostly pacing and snapping my fingers with angry body language. My kids who were in high school at the time were upset enough to call their Mother and, unbeknownst to me, went to a neighbor’s house because they were so afraid I would do something to hurt them.
We men may think that if we are not beating our wife or destroying property that we have our anger under control, but our wives and kids may have a much different perception.
If this is a problem for you, please get help from pastors, counselors, or support groups and get it fast.