One thing that can be very discouraging as the spouse who wants reconciliation is to get continual messages from their spouse that they have no desire to reconcile. For a quite awhile during our separation that was my situation. Sharon made it clear that she did not want to reconcile. Eventually several things helped.
I became more and more convinced that what the Apostle Paul said about love never failing was true. If I continued to do the loving thing, eventually something good would happen.
I kept looking for more testimonies of hope and I kept finding them, both in person and on the web, in Divorce Care, and many other places. Each testimony of a reconciled marriage gave me new hope for my own. In the book of Revelation 12:11 the Apostle John says, “They overcame him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony…” There truly is something encouraging about testimonies. The more I focused on God the more peace I had.
If you are in such a situation keep seeking help and hope because Jesus says in Matthew 7:8 that “… he who seeks, finds…”. I found that to be true.
stubborn-pursuits.com 
Rich – thanks for this post. I feel like I’m being bombarded with nothing but signs of despair, even from well-intended friends.
I will continue to seek out His Word and those with encouraging testimonies.
That is awesome to keep seeking out His Word and encouraging testimonies. What you are encountering is sad, but quite common- even within the church.
Do remember that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers and spriritual wickedness in high places, but the weapons of our warfare are devinely powerful for demolishing strongholds. Also remember what are weapons are- The helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the sword of the Spirit(which is the word of God) and the feet shod with the readiness of the gospel of peace. Another thing to notice is that all of our weapons are defensive, except the sword of the Spirit.