I have written twice on this subject before but for various reasons this issue continues to come to the forefront. One of my thoughts during our separation was “I made a promise to Sharon to love her as long as we both shall live – and in the order of the ceremony I promised her first – which means my promise was not conditioned upon her promise or her performance.” Having my ring on continued to remind me of those promises that I made to her.
I have recently come to understand more fully that even though Sharon went through a season of wanting a divorce and of being unwilling to work towards reconciliation, my wearing my ring was still important to her. It showed her that I wasn’t going to give up on “us” and the promises I had made to her.
In the past few months I have observed struggling marriages where the spouse, who on the surface seemed to have the least desire to save the marriage, was very bothered that their spouse took off their ring. Yes, that doesn’t always seem to make logical sense but in deeply struggling marriages lots of things don’t make much logical sense.
All this to say that if you are in a deeply struggling marriage and truly want to reconcile, I encourage you to keep your wedding ring on regardless of your spouse’s attitude towards you, your marriage, or your ring. It may mean far more than you think to them.