Adultery Recovery (Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs)

Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs (www.hopeformarriages.com) have an awesome testimony of healing from adultery. You can watch it here. http://iamsecond.com/#/seconds/The_Scruggs/

In brief, they were very much in love and got married. They had it all as far as material possessions. She had an affair, they got divorced, then she became a Christian three months after the divorce, but it took seven years for Jeff to work through his anger about her affair and for them to remarry.

Jeff and Cheryl have received training in Biblical counseling and now help other couples. They have written their story in the book “I Do Again” and their testimony is on their website in various formats. I have met this couple in person and their love for God and each other just radiates from them.

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4 Responses to Adultery Recovery (Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs)

  1. You may know that Jeff and Cheryl had a monumental crisis this past Christmas (2011) when their daughter, Lauren Scruggs, walked into the propeller of an airplane. Lauren survived with physical scars and in need of emotional healing. Jeff and Cheryl were “vigilant and stubborn” in pursuit of God’s comfort and grace during that difficult time. I prayed for them often during Lauren’s long recovery.

  2. I heard them at church today in Carrollon, TX-very interestig presentation.

  3. Scott says:

    What’s curious to me about their story is Jeff always is taking the blame. He constantly talks about the changes HE had to make. Now I get that she says she did wrong, etc., but did he drive her to her boyfriends house? Did he give her the guys phone number and tell her to have relations? What’s with this faithful spouse taking blame? This is a very unlikely scenario. Most people do not reconcile after 7 years. What happens most of the time is the cheater runs to the affair partner, or doesn’t give enough of a crap to actually try (post affair) to save the marriage, and then the faithful spouse, who didn’t do anything wrong, has to eat a divorce and an affair at the same time. It’s nice they both moved past it, but it doesn’t change the fact that she cheated, was weak, put her family through hell, and emotionally demolished her husband. Most cheaters would love to just jump right to the happy ending the Scruggs had 7 years later, but the truth is, the cheaters are weak people, they look for shortcuts, and they don’t want to face their own harsh truths.

    No one is perfect, so of course the finger can always be pointed to the faithful spouse. He worked too hard, didn’t work enough, she didn’t agree with his parenting style, blah blah blah…

    So here’s what I learned. 1. I am who I am period. I’m done ‘changing’ to please a narcissist that would cheat on me. 2. If someone doesn’t try, then don’t force them. You can’t take a cheater to truth and expect them to drink. Most of them won’t. Nice that Scruggs did, or appears to have, but most of them, forget it. They just won’t admit they’re pond scum and try to fix their issues. 3. When someone shows you what they are, believe it. Found out my ex was a cheater, I filed for divorce, I moved on. Was it tough, yes. Was it harsh, yes. Was it worth it, yes.

    The reconcile at all costs people aren’t realistic. Most marriages won’t survive infidelity. And the few that do, have a dysfunctional dynamic for a long time because the cheater is treated like a prisoner and the faithful go through a mental hell that’s unimaginable. These are nice stories, but they are exceptions to the rule, not the rule. And for most of us, God opens the door so we can see what the cheater truly is, and then run through the door and not look back. Because God doesn’t want us miserable, and because cheaters make their loved ones miserable, I have gigantic doubts when I hear a cheater say “God has forgiven me”. How does the cheater really know? I’ve heard more scumbags with beers in their hands or dope dangling from their mouths parrot, “God forgave me even though I cheated on my spouse 4 times and had 2 illegit kids…”

    Maybe it’s time to put this story in proper perspective. Jeff needed 7 years not to necessarily work through his anger, but to have Cheryl prove she could be trusted. That’s a long, long time for her to commit to winning his trust. And guess what, admit it, most cheaters wouldn’t do that, work that hard, try that hard, or humble themselves that much. That’s the real story here. Most cheaters are just fine with being cheaters and satisfying themselves with blanket forgiveness from God, when in truth, they’re lying about that too.

    Good for Jeff and Cheryl. I just don’t buy this as anything but the exception to the rule.

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