During our separation, but also even now in striving to maintain and improve our marriage, I have come to the conclusion that I need to take all that I am learning and figure out what works for our marriage to be all that it can be – regardless if it is exactly what worked for someone else’s marriage.

One good example of that is in using communication tools. Over the last several years Sharon and I have been taught and we teach others various communication tools which were primarily designed to work verbally between partners.

Sometimes on difficult subjects I will use the same concepts from the tools to start the conversation by email. For whatever reason I  tend to be more vulnerable and real in writing. Sharon is the opposite. She is often more able to respond verbally, although she will, for my benefit, at times take the effort to respond in writing.

Bottom line is that we are both dedicated to improving our marriage and we keep trying different things to see what is most effective for us. We also both reach out of our comfort zone a bit to try to meet each other where they are.