The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association has challenged those who blog about marriage to post for 13 straight days. I thought that was good inspiration to get back to blogging. Since I may have some new readers the next few days I thought I would start Day 1 with reintroducing myself.
My wife, Sharon, and I will be married 27 years this December. We have 23-year-old twins, Matthew and Sarah, who have graduated college and are employed in the agricultural and aviation industries and living in Nebraska and Kansas, so we are empty nesters on our farm in Ohio.
In our 17 and 18th years of marriage, while we were homeschooling our children, we went through a 16-month separation. Our brief story is that we dated about a year in our mid-twenties and then got married. At about the end of the first year of marriage we were struggling so much with communicating to each other that we got counseling. In our third year of marriage I was diagnosed with testicular cancer and went through two surgeries and chemo. And by God’s grace we had healthy twins the next year.
Because of all the intensity of surviving cancer and having twins shortly after, we buried our poor communication and conflict resolution skills for many years until it all culminated in our separation. During that time I became very depressed and eventually spent a month at Meier Clinic, a Christian outpatient therapy center. Later, Sharon told me that she was getting a divorce. She had lost hope. I told her that I would not sign a voluntary dissolution because Jesus said, “Let no man put asunder what God had joined together.” Thankfully Sharon never filed any paperwork.
Eventually as a last ditch effort, Sharon agreed to attend a one-day PAIRS seminar with me. With Jesus’s help over the next two months we learned how to use communication tools and deal with our issues. Since then we have had more training in communication skills, life and marriage coaching and created a ministry called Stubborn Pursuits. We came up with the name because I stubbornly pursued God and Sharon and she stubbornly pursued God. That all helped heal our wounds and brokenness and led to our reconciliation.
I started this blog as a place to share resources for couples in crisis and to offer hope and help for struggling couples or couples who want to help struggling couples. I also wanted to post things that are helpful for enriching any marriage, or for people who are considering marriage or are engaged.
I am a farmer so I can be very sporadic with my blogging. Sometimes I blog quite a bit, but then I get working in the fields and don’t blog much at all. This challenge is inspiring me to get back on track with it. I hope you find some helpful resources on our blog.
If you go to this Facebook page you can see what many other marriage bloggers are sharing during this 13-day challenge.