During some of the bleakest times of our separation I finally came to a peace that every day not standing in front of a divorce judge was a good day. I learned that sometimes when a person gets way down emotionally they have to hold onto the tiniest shred of hope to make it through one more day.
Sharon had discussed filing for divorce against my wishes, we had tried mediation and that had broken down, and so we had gone into a time of minimal communication. We communicated about the essentials in the farm business since she paid the bills and I managed the farm and did a lot of the work. We communicated minimally about our children. Otherwise there was little happening between us.
I was desperately lonely and hurt and wanting back together and fighting to overcome hopelessness and depression. The many things that I had tried to help us get back together seemed to be of no help. Finally, at some point, I was able to tell myself, “I am alive and life is worth living. I don’t know what life will look like in the future, but we are not in front of a divorce judge today so there is still hope for our marriage. Today is a good day.”