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Triathlon Training Helps Marriage
It’s nice to highlight this marriage of Dan and Alix Peyton’s where they are pulling together to support one another and meet mutual goals.
Three Men on Marriage
Don Carson, Tim Keller and John Piper have all been married over 35 years and are respected Bible teachers. This is a fascinating interview. Piper made a great point that it is the covenant that sustains the love in marriage. Our feelings come and go but our promise to our spouse carries us through the rough spots.
What’s on My Heart
I’m here this morning struggling to know what to write about. Something that will speak from the heart of God to yours. Something that He’s taught me that I can share with you. But nothing’s coming. And the deadline is looming. So, although it doesn’t have anything to do with marriage, I’ll share what’s been on my heart for the past couple of weeks.
I picked up two books at the library about life for women in the Middle East. Especially those countries that have myriad restrictions on women – how they live, what they wear, their education. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Those books, plus a few others I’d read earlier, turned my world upside down.
Then I had the honor of hearing about a women’s center in one of those countries that friends of ours opened this year. A center where women can be educated safely and their incomprehensible need for resources. They have 400 women signed up for classes soon. Four hundred. In six month’s time.
And my heart is pulled to help in some way. So when I asked how I could help in ways other than financial, the dear sister looked at me and without hesitating said, “Come! Come and teach!” And my heart at once shrunk back in fear. But then surged forward for that is my gifting – teaching and encouraging women. But then my heart shrank back in fear again. Isn’t that the way it goes? I want every woman to have the opportunity to be all that God has called her to be; to use her gifts and talents to help others.
As the days have gone by that seed just keeps mulling around and I keep telling myself, “It’s not safe. It’s crazy. I don’t have that much faith.” But then, faith grows. The seed has been planted. And I’ll wait to see if God does anything to make it grow, flourish and bloom in His timing. It’s scary to voice that. It’s scarier still to allow God to plant that seed and give Him permission to do with it what He wants. In the meantime, please join me in praying for these precious women.
Separation and Reconciliation are Just Hard
I had an opportunity the other day to review many of the emails, letters, and psychological tests from the time of our separation. I could see where both of us in our own time and way honestly and intensely sought God. We both had made good faith overtures to the other.
For myself, it is amazing the intensity of some of the emotions I had, and sad to realize how deeply I hurt my family by not handling those emotions properly. I am thankful for those who stood by us through the turmoil – pastors, elders, friends, and counselors. They went on quite a ride also and often didn’t know what to do. After remembering where we were in our relationship, I’m so thankful that Jesus brought us to a better place.
For those in the middle of struggle for your marriage my biggest encouragement is to reach out to God and pour your heart out to Him. Reading through the Psalms and using some of them as a prayer pattern or prayer inspiration can be very helpful. I was just reading some today and realized again how much David cried out to God and God answered him.
After you have reached out to God and are allowing Him to work in your own life, keep looking for the good in your spouse and respond in love to whatever positive gestures they make to you even if those are small. This separation and reconciliation stuff is just tough sledding, but with God all things are possible and love never fails.
Another perspective on “If your wife wants out”
In various places on this blog I share some of the things I did when Sharon wanted out of our marriage and I have suggested some ideas I have thought of since. Below is another man’s perspective on what to do. There are also some interesting comments below his post.
A Recipe for Changing Our Men?!
I thought this was excellent advice on how to pray to change your man and I don’t see any reason it can’t be reversed to pray for your wife.
A Recipe for Changing Our Men?!
During our separation I learned to pour out my heart to God about how frustrated and angry I was with Sharon. This was a huge breakthrough for me to be able to be gut level honest with God and I think it made a critical difference.
I remember a specific time with my Christian psychologist when I prayed to release Sharon to God. It was very hard to trust Him with her and I desperately hoped He would turn her heart back to me. He did.
I prayed multiple times through Stormie O’Martians’ book, The Power of a Praying Husband, which included a lot of blessings for my wife. Gratefully, God did do alot of changes in my heart and my life and also in Sharon’s.
Daily Encouragement During Separation or Divorce
I found getting these daily emails from Divorce Care and Rejoice Ministries were very helpful and encouraging during our separation. It was amazing how many times they hit the nail on the head on something I needed to hear that day. God always seemed to give me what I needed just at the right time.
Being Mindful of One Another
In the past I’ve talked about being thankful and using a daily thankful journal to remember all of God’s goodness to us. The couple in this article has learned to be mindful and grateful for the things they do for each other every day. Keeping a journal and listing those things has helped them to appreciate each other much more and kept their marriage from falling apart. It’s a simple thing to do that has a huge impact. Why not try it starting today?
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Tagged Articles, Blogs, Couples, Love, Relationships, Tools
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A Little Frustration with Men . . .
I often have men call me saying how much pain they are in because their wife wants out of the marriage, and how they will do anything to save their marriage. Typically I make several suggestions for them to try and resources for them to review. Most will do a couple of things, but often after awhile their enthusiasm starts to wane and they start telling me how this won’t work and that won’t work and that their case is different. Time goes on and they tell me or I hear from someone else that they are getting divorced.
This frustrates me when they quit and when they seem to try so few of my suggestions. Not sure why it frustrates me so much. Most of them are not related to me and most are not close friends. I know that if they would give God a chance to work in their spouse’s life and in their own life and in their marriage, that He can do the impossible. But so many don’t give God the chance – in HIS timing.
stubborn-pursuits.com 