I have shared bits and pieces of our separation on this blog. We have plans to share more of our story in a book sometime. Part of the struggle with writing our story is that if we are honest enough that it will really help other, it tends to bring up some not so pleasant memories from the past for both of us.
I happen to be sitting at our local reservoir. I came here many times during our separation. One memory I have which is somewhat humorous now is that I was talking to Sharon on the cell phone one Sunday. I have no recollection now of who said what but the conversation ended badly. I took my cell phone and threw it as far as I could into the grass. After looking for awhile I asked some fisherman to dial my number and eventually we found it in the grass. I think I owned up to how I lost it.
My travels last week took me past the campground that I stayed at the night Sharon had told me she was getting a divorce. We had been at the reservoir just a few yards from where I am now. She had informed me of her plans. I was very upset, but mostly kept it together until we got home while she was driving. When I got out of the car I proceeded to slam the door so hard that it leaks air to this day. I got into our RV and backed it out of our shop so hard that I burned rubber as I left. The reason I was at the campground was that was as far as I got before I got two flat tires. It was a Sunday night and it’s hard to get RV tires fixed then.
What shocked me last week was how far it was to the McDonald’s up the road from the campground. I had remembered walking there the next morning in my emotional distress, but I thought it was just a little bit up the road. It was a long way up the road! In fact, I just measured it on Google Maps and it was five miles one way.
I hope me sharing this gives those who are separated hope that if they have blown it, God can heal your marriage in spite of your failures. I hope anyone reading who has been deeply hurt by their spouse can draw close to Jesus to forgive their spouse, because I am so grateful that Sharon forgave me of these things and much more.
Also, be forewarned that if you are in a separation or divorce situation, emotions that may seem totally out of character for you may hit full force. Do your best to deal with them in godly ways.