I have been very encouraged when I’ve been around the twenty-something generation lately. Many of them are hungry to strive to do relationships right and really want to know more. I applaud them.
I also challenge my generation of Baby Boomers to step up to the plate, learn more about relationships, strive to do better in their own relationships, and to have a vision to pass on to the younger generation their successes and failures.
Joy Eggerichs, Emerson’s daughter, blogs Love & Respect NOW and this series of five posts hits on the head the challenge women have of respecting and calling out good in the men around them.
Regardlesss of what kind of relationship you have with your spouse right now ask yourself what one small thing you could do today to express your love. Okay, now that you know what it is – do it!!!
Ideas
Kiss your spouse.
Compliment them.
Do a small chore for your spouse, without them asking. Maybe even something they normally do.
Write a short note, text, or email to your spouse.
Do one small thing that they have asked you to do and you haven’t gotten around to it.
Use your imagination, but do something.
Here are some simple romantic ideas.
Weekends away or fancy dinners are nice and wonderful, but for most couples they are not affordable very often. There are lots of simple things like the suggestions above that can be done on an ongoing basis to keep romance alive. They don’t have to cost much to make your spouse feel special.
During our separation, but also even now in striving to maintain and improve our marriage, I have come to the conclusion that I need to take all that I am learning and figure out what works for our marriage to be all that it can be – regardless if it is exactly what worked for someone else’s marriage.
One good example of that is in using communication tools. Over the last several years Sharon and I have been taught and we teach others various communication tools which were primarily designed to work verbally between partners.
Sometimes on difficult subjects I will use the same concepts from the tools to start the conversation by email. For whatever reason I tend to be more vulnerable and real in writing. Sharon is the opposite. She is often more able to respond verbally, although she will, for my benefit, at times take the effort to respond in writing.
Bottom line is that we are both dedicated to improving our marriage and we keep trying different things to see what is most effective for us. We also both reach out of our comfort zone a bit to try to meet each other where they are.
Last night for our devotions we each shared scripture from memory. We realize that there could come a time in our lives either in this nation or traveling to another nation that we might not have access to our Bibles, so we wanted to see what we already knew and to encourage one another. It was wonderful when one of us would start a passage, stumble a little but the other could finish it. We didn’t worry too much about chapter and verse (Jesus didn’t when He rebuked the devil – He just said “It is written.”). Try this sometime with your spouse or a friend.
During our separation I often reminded myself of 1 Cor 13:8 (NIV) – Love never fails. Over and over I asked myself what is the loving thing to do in this situation today with Sharon – whether we were together, or in a meeting with someone else, or not even talking at all. I strove to do what I believed was the loving thing at the time. I did not always succeed, but I had confidence in God’s Word that if I consistently loved her, good would come.
With Jesus’ help good did come. His love for both of us never failed and His love expressed through each other, to each other, even though we were imperfect, never failed. It is amazing what power one tiny piece of God’s Word can have in our lives when we seek to believe it and apply it to our lives.
I thought this was an interesting list of couples therapy advice blogs. Some are Christian, some secular. I have not had time to review every one, but I see several that I do respect.
http://www.mastersinpsychology.net/making-it-work-top-25-couples-therapy-advice-blogs
I thought this was a good article in a secular publication asking some very insightful questions about our divorce culture. Even in the church I am afraid that at least some people haven’t asked these questions enough to themselves before they got divorced.
So, I promised you a post about what we do each day to quickly connect with each other and with God as a couple. It’s not earth shattering, but it’s effective!
Again, we always struggled with praying together each day. We thought it had to be this formal, sit down, pray for 15 minutes event. There were days when we’d try it and almost want to snatch ourselves bald (actually, snatch each other bald!).
We took the pressure off ourselves by deciding to do this simple thing: we pray 30, or 60 or 90 seconds with each other before heading out the door. Yep. That’s it. Life changing.
Since Richard is usually the first one to leave, he makes sure to come and put his hand on my shoulder or arm around me, and prays with me about our day, the kids’ days and for divine appointments throughout the day. We pray protection and blessing over each other. It literally takes 30 to 90 seconds and it’s made a world of difference for us. We connect with each other and we connect with God. I can’t imagine starting our days without it.
Try it and see if it makes a difference in your relationship.
stubborn-pursuits.com 