Our Trip to Israel

The short version of our trip to Israel is that Sharon and I were with two of our pastors to help them facilitate a First Steps discipleship conference to primarily Russian Messianic Jewish pastors, and to speak a few minutes about our marriage testimony and our marriage ministry. We had a great time and learned a lot.

Now for the longer version. I am going to get into quite a bit of background and details because I think it may help you have a better understanding of who we are and some of the people and experiences that have influenced us.

We traveled with Grant Edwards, our senior pastor from Fellowship Christian Church in Springfield, Ohio, Rick Ives the missions pastor from Fellowship, and Russian interpreter and administrator of Russians Reaching RussiansDenis Koslov.

Rick Ives and Grant Edwards at Jaffa Gate

Rick Ives and Grant Edwards at Jaffa Gate

Denis Koslov

Denis Koslov

Grant grew up in a local church in Springfield but as a teenager made a decision to leave the faith and became a hippie and drug user. When he was 19 he had an encounter with Jesus who set him free from the drugs and gave him a passion to reach out to his friends about Jesus. Within months of his conversion he had led over 100 of his friends to Christ. However, he saw many quickly fall away.

This greatly concerned and frustrated him, so over the years he developed a program originally called Discipling Another to Love Jesus and but now called First Steps.  This is a 10-week program that is designed to be used one-on-one with new believers or older believers who never got a good foundation in the faith. It helps them understand the fundamentals of the Christian faith and how to walk it out. First Steps has been used across the U.S. in churches and prisons and in many foreign countries such as Russia, the Philippines, Cambodia, Cuba, India and more.

The early days of Grant’s ministry were mainly a youth ministry. Sharon got involved when she was 14 and accepted Jesus and I got involved when I was 16 years old. By the time we were married the ministry was morphing into a church. Grant was one of the co-pastors that officiated our wedding.

Rick Ives grew up an atheist and then got saved. About 22 years ago he was a youth pastor in Indiana. He and his wife Heather took a trip to Israel and were on the flight home when he had a very strong impression that they were to move to Russia and start a ministry – not too long after the “wall” came down. He had no desire to go to Russia, but in obedience he did and lived there for about four years helping start churches and grow relationships.

Grant never had a desire to go to Russia but felt led by God to go visit Rick and Heather, even though he had only met them once when they visited our church networked by some people they all knew in common. They hit it off and have been working together ever since.

Sharon went on her first missions trip to Russian Orthodox Jews in New York City and then she, Grant and many others went on a missions trip to Russia in 1996 and met up with Rick and Heather. A year or two later the kids and I went to Russia with her. Sharon has now been six times and I have been five times all to the St. Petersburg area ministering in churches, orphanages and more.

After four years in Russia, Rick and Heather moved back to the States, and then eventually moved to Springfield for Rick to work at Fellowship. Rick overseas all of our church’s missions around the world, still working closely with Russia.

Denis Koslov grew up in Russia and became a Christian. He had an interest in America for years which eventually led him to become an intepreter. Early in Rick’s Russia ministry, Denis started interpreting for Rick and the teams that visited and is now the chief interpreter as well as the Russian administrator of Russians Reaching Russians. Plans are being made for his family and him to move to Ohio in the next year to take over more of the active management of the ministry and to lead American teams to Russia. When Sharon and I first met Denis he was in his early twenties still learning the basics of the faith . . . and English.

About the same time we met Denis we met another young Russian, Yan Volkov. He was just out of prison, had a sweet spirit about him and really took a liking to our kids.

(Yes, I know I am giving a lot of background, but I think it will help you to understand just how amazing this trip was and how God has worked to connect all the dots.)

A year ago we went went on a guided tour of Israel with a group from our church. We saw many of the important Biblical sights in Israel and really learned a lot but did not interact with the people much. At the end of that trip Grant and Rick extended their stay to meet with a couple of Russian pastors that Yan Volkov had told them they should see. Yan is now very involved in TBN/Russia. There is a huge contingent of Russian Christians in Israel, many with a Jewish background. In that meeting a year ago Grant and Rick laid the foundations for the First Steps conference held this year.

What Sharon, Grant, Rick and I knew before our trip this year was that we would be presenting a First Steps conference to primarily Russian Messianic Jewish pastors in Tel Aviv. Sharon and I had been asked to go along to share about our marriage testimony/ministry depending upon the time available. We also thought we had a couple of mostly free days in Jerusalem to just enjoy the time there.

Tel Aviv

Tel Aviv

Our first full day in Tel Aviv was their Sabbath and our hotel was on the beach of the Mediterraean within a couple of miles of Jaffa. A lot of people were surfing, riding bikes, walking and just enjoying the weekend and the marvelous weather. It was warm compared to Ohio but not warm enough for me to be in the water. It was a gorgeous day to be outside and we got to see people do some traditional dancing, playing paddle ball, and playing volleyball with no hands.

Old Jaffa Square

Old Jaffa Square

Grant, Rick and Denis rented bikes and road to Jaffa. Sharon and I took a taxi. Jaffa is a very old port city and was the town where Peter had the vision of the sheet at Simon the Tanner’s house showing him that God wanted Gentiles to be welcomed in the church.  It was awesome to sit in our hotel at night and see the lights of Jaffa and realize that so many years ago, right in that town, God had supernaturally communicated with someone to welcome Gentiles (i.e. us) into the church.

Conference

Conference

Our second day was the conference day. We were stunned when we got there. Not only were there Russian speaking pastors, but people from the Philippines, Congo, Ethiopia, Israel, China, America, France, and native Israelis. Some spoke English and some didn’t. Mostly their native language and Hebrew. One of the pastors spoke five languages and as he came down the row I heard him greet people in Russian, Hebrew, and English – switching languages as he went down the row. It was amazing to realize that the scripture  about God regathering His people from the four corners of the earth back to Israel is being fulfilled before our very eyes in this time.

Practicing a discipleship lesson.

Practicing a discipleship lesson.

Because of traffic concerns the conference started later than planned and ended earlier than planned so Grant and Rick did what is normally a one-and-half-day conference in about four hours. We were able to speak at lunch about our testimony and ministry for about ten minutes and I think between the inquiries we got and that Denis got there were about nine separate people who wanted to know more about what we do. It was a great response for the limited time and we were so honored to speak.

The next day we packed up and left our hotel in Tel Aviv and went to Haifa to meet a couple of Russians Messianic pastors who have converted an old monastery into a Christian community dedicated to helping people come out of drug and alcohol addiction and starting over in life. They not only have a mission there in Haifa but have some rehabilitation houses in Pennsylvania.

Later in the day we moved on to Jerusalem. Grant and Rick had been invited to meet with the pastor who is the voice of TBN in Israel. They taped a segment about First Steps that was interpreted into Russian.

Unfortunately, I had a little detour and was unable to go to the taping. About a month ago I had a crown put on a tooth in America. Everything seemed in order and I hadn’t been experiencing any pain. In other words I thought my teeth problems were good to go.

After I got to Israel I started experiencing some tooth pain, so I began using some pain killers and antibiotics. By the time we left Tel Aviv my face was starting to swell. I was in contact with my dentist at home and as I continued to worsen he told me I needed to find a dentist now. My wife and teammates were growing concerned.

From the Old City market rooftop

From the Old City market rooftop

After we checked into the hotel in Jerusalem I asked the front desk if they knew of an English speaking dentist. She commented that my face was swollen and promptly got on the phone to find a dentist for me. Fortunately she found one who would see me after business hours and who was a short cab ride away. She gave me directions to the dentist in Hebrew and handed me a business card with the hotel address in Hebrew and called a cab for us. We had no idea what it might cost and we knew we had to pay in cash so we counted our dollars for the dentist and for the cab and prayed it would be enough.

The cab took us right there. The receptionist and the dental assistant spoke no English but the dentist did. He had to remove the crown and do a root canal and put back a temporary crown. He gave me a prescription for an antibiotic that we were able to get filled in the same building. We were thankful the bill was only about $350, and my swelling and pain were arrested. I will have more work done here at home, but was so thankful that Jesus provided me with the help I needed so I didn’t get worse, especially for the plane ride home.

Jerusalem - Dinner with Oleg, Vasilly and OrenWe had dinner that night with three pastors – one from Siberia.

The next day the pastor with TBN invited Grant and Rick to speak to his church leadership team and we went along. It was basically a round table discussion about leadership principles and I thought it went very well.

In the afternoon we went to the markets in Jerusalem. I hate shopping in general and thankfully there were three men and Sharon – who is not a window shopper, but if she knows what is needed she does a good job finding it and bargaining for it. Bottom line is that she acted as a personal shopper for Grant and Rick and kept bargaining with the shop keepers to get good deals and I mostly hung out and people-watched.

The Western or Wailing Wall

The Western or Wailing Wall

The Menorah for the 3rd Temple

The Menorah for the 3rd Temple

We did get to the Western Wall also known as the Wailing Wall. The wall is actually part of what is left of platform from Herodian times that the temple was built upon. I think we all had a realization that although it is a very revered place, being with our Christian brothers and sisters was much more moving than being at the Wall. Yes it is special, but the people are so much more special.

Jerusalem from pastor's office

Jerusalem from pastor’s office

Denis Koslov and Daniel Rozen

Denis Koslov and Daniel Rozen

On our last day a multi-lingual pastor who is the head of the association of churches that invited us over took us for a drive in the area around Jerusalem. We had some incredible and encouraging conversations with him. He took us to a kosher Jewish bakery which was a special treat and then showed us his office in downtown Jerusalem with a beautiful view of much of the city. He also took us to the overlook in Jerusalem where all the major news media do their reports. It was amazing that he, Grant, Rick and Denis had various common friends around the world – in Russian and the Philippines especially.

Sometimes in these international situations I can feel like such a slacker. I meet these people that speak multiple languages and I struggle with just English. Then they know a lot about America and what is going on here, and I know only a little about what goes on in their country and often about half of what I know is wrong because it came from our media. But it is wonderful the kinship you can feel as Christian brothers and sisters even though we come from very different cultures.

So many things on this trip just blew my mind. When I think about the early Russian trips and Denis and Yan being so young and now Yan is well known and has contacts not only in Russia but in Israel. Denis was just an interpreter but now is a pastor with contacts all over the world. It is just amazing to see their growth and what God has done in their lives.

When I think about my youth listening to Grant preach when he wasn’t through Bible college yet, and my vague memories of Sharon as a very shy teenager. We are all from a relatively unknown town and now are half way around the world ministering. It is amazing.

When I see the Bible coming to life with the Jews being regathered in Israel – it is stunning.

When Grant, Rick, Denis and our hosts start talking and in one conversation they are mentioning people they mutually know from around the world and common places they have been, it is very interesting.

When I see people get excited about the First Steps material that Grant has developed it gets me even more excited about discipleship. (I think Sharon went through the first class Grant ever did at the church.)

When I walk through Israel and Jerusalem and see Bible sites that I have read about for years it encourages my faith.

We don’t know if we’ll ever go back to Israel, but we are grateful for this time meeting Jewish believers and learning more about their way of life.

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Mark Gungor: Selling Divorce

This is a great post by Mark Gungor of Laugh Your Way talking about the long-term, sometimes unintended consequences of divorce.

Selling Divorce

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Mowing the Grass

We went to a marriage conference this past weekend and one of the audience members had a great analogy about working on your relationship.

He said that if you put off mowing the grass when it needs be mowed it eventually gets very tall and hard to mow. You have to go slower to mow and work a lot harder at it. Once you get it mowed back down to a normal height it is pretty easy to keep it mowed.

It is the same way in relationships. If we let all of our relationship issues pile up and never deal with them, it can be quite hard to work through them when we finally do try to tackle them. If we work on our relationship issues a little at a time as they come up, they don’t get so bad. His recommendation was to keep the grass mowed!

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Sideswiped and Going Backwards

This weekend we attended a marriage conference lead by our friends from Grace & Truth Counseling and Coaching, Jeff and Jill Williams. We were not presenters but because we know their material and the conference was relatively large, we had been asked to be there to help with any questions as couples were doing their exercises.

When it came time to do the exercises as couples, we went ahead and did the exercises ourselves. We know the exercises well and we always grow when we do them. Much to our surprise some issues surfaced in our relationship that brought some tension between us. Thankfully we kept doing the exercises plus some others that we also know and we got to a lot better place between us.

I just wanted to encourage you that if you have been in rough spot in your marriage and are starting to come out of it, there are likely to be setbacks, but just keep going with God’s help and things can get a lot better.

I think most couples, no matter how great their marriage, at one time or another go through setbacks. The ones that survive persevere through the setbacks and choose to believe that God can heal whatever the problems are.

Some of the best comments of the weekend were from a couple who had been married 63 years. They didn’t say much but they seemed to truly enjoy one another and they indicated they had had their own bumps in the road. I admire them for showing up to learn something new to improve their relationship.

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“I Knew What I Was Getting Into” by Misty Edwards

Sometimes it is easy to get down and wonder where God is or why He would even care about us. Sometimes we want to give up. This is an awesome song of encouragement of how much God loves us and that we don’t surprise Him with our struggles. The most important thing is to hang on and not give up.

What songs have you found helpful when you were down and thought God was distant and just weren’t too sure if you could go on?

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National Marriage Week

National Marriage Week February 7-14 is an effort to raise marriage awareness across the country. Even though the official week is drawing to a close there are a lot of great marriage resources and references at their website here.

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Divorce Care for the Separated

I know I’ve talked about this resource before, but it bears repeating.

Divorce Care is a 13-week program primarily for those going through divorce but also for those who are separated – even those who are separated and want to reconcile. Each week there is a key topic that is discussed on video by experts and also by people who have been through separation or divorce. Here is the list of topics covered. After you watch the video people discuss what they heard plus share a little about their own situation if they feel so led.

I actually went to three groups a week for awhile during our separation. The videos almost always connected with what I was feeling and experiencing on many topics and the encouragement from other participants was great. I believe that participating in Divorce Care helped me come out of a major depression during our separation. One thing that also helped was that I realized that other people were often in worse situations than I was.

Here are some special tips about the Divorce Care groups if you are separated and want to reconcile.

a. Some people are already divorced and maybe their ex-spouse is already remarried, so they may be clueless about your desire to reconcile.

b. Some may have tried to reconcile with their spouse and it failed so they maybe cynical about your hope for reconciliation.

c. In my case, one of the groups was so hopeless about reconciliation in general that they had lost the CD on reconciliation, but at my request they repurchased it and watched it.

I just determined that it was my desire was to reconcile if at all possible so I just tried to ignore any hopeless comments from others in the group. Not everyone was like that though.

One concern in a Divorce Care group is the possibility of meeting someone new prematurely. I realized that there were a couple of different types of women in Divorce Care. Some had already been around the block of new relationships and having smooth-talking guys hit on them while they were separated or divorced, so they were very cautious about getting involved with any man.

Some women were still in so much shock and pain about their own situation and dealing with betrayal, financial struggles, and kids that they certainly weren’t my fantasy girl of having life all together and all ready to walk blissfully into the future with a new man. I found myself having a lot of compassion for both types of women and any fleeting ideas of forgetting about my desire to reconcile went away.

The other thing to realize about Divorce Care is that each group has it’s own dynamics and style. One reason I went to three at once was that I had tried one group that just didn’t work out. I looked on the web for more groups within driving distance and liked each one for different reasons, so I kept going.

One other thing to consider is whether you want to be in a group in a local church where you may know others and they may know you, or if you prefer to drive a little bit to be in a group that is more anonymous to you. That is a personal preference decision.

I am thankful for my time in Divorce Care because in many ways it helped me get to a more stable place where I was more truly ready for reconciliation when it came.

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Modern Reject: The Mystery of Marriage

The phrase Jesus used about marriage, “and they became one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), I think is more profound than we have often realized. I thought this post from the blog Modern Reject was great about what one flesh means.

This was great insight when she wrote: “We knew, in that moment, that the spiritual health of one, could and would, affect the spiritual health of the other.”

After Sharon and I got back together from our separation and really talked, we found out that often God had been working with us each on very similar issues. Even today sometimes we will realize that we are a little bit more out of sync with each other than normal, and we figure out that one or both of us has let our relationship with Jesus slide. If one of us gets back on track with our relationship with Jesus, it often inspires the other one to be more intentional about that relationship also.

I figure that we will get to our 50th wedding anniversary and still not totally understand the depth of this one flesh relationship, but that is okay because Jesus is always growing us.

What insights have you had about what it means to be one flesh with your spouse?

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Things to Remember When Divorce Sounds Like a Good Idea

Sometimes when there is a lot of pain in marriage a divorce sounds like a solution that will do away with it. Unfortunately, there are often painful consequences that people don’t think about at the time when they pursue divorce. Here are a few observations that I have had over the years from working with couples and with singles, and also just from knowing people who have gone through divorce.

If you and your spouse have kids the ramifications of divorce are never completely over as long as either of you are alive and sometimes not even after the death of one of you. At major life events for your children such as engagement, marriage, birth of children, etc., you are quite likely to have contact with your ex-spouse, or if you aren’t part of those events because you don’t want to deal with your ex, you are going to miss some special moments.

Many people think that they will just marry someone else and life will be so much better. My observation is that those who have a good second marriage go through a lot of pain and learning and change because they realize that they had a part in the collapse of their first marriage, even if their spouse was mostly at fault. I have had people say to me that if they had worked as hard on saving their first marriage and making changes as they have on learning to do it right the second time, they would still be married to their first spouse.

Jesus said to let no man put asunder what God had joined together. There really is a special bond between husband and wife and when it is broken for whatever reason, there is going to be pain. I have watched people who were naturally tough and aggressive and nothing much phased them still deeply struggle during the divorce process.

I met a lady once who said that she and her husband had an ideal divorce – no kids, no acrimony – and yet five years later she still wasn’t totally healed and recovered.

I met a lady in Divorce Care who had never married the man she lived with for several years and whom with she jointly owned a house. They broke up. If she had not told me that she had broken up with her live-in rather than divorcing a husband, I would have never known that she hadn’t been married because her pain so closely matched those who were getting divorced.

There have been some long term studies done that have shown that people in unhappy marriages who stayed together were happier after five years than ones who had been in equally unhappy marriages and had divorced.

My encouragement to those in unhappy marriages is to really think through the ramifications of divorce and to do all that they can to see if the marriage can be saved before they give up. There is so much help available for marriages with many different kinds of problems that it is worth a long hard look before a marriage is ended.

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Julie Sibert: Do Some People Believe Your Marriage Won’t Make It?

This is an article that hits close to home. During our separation there were Christian friends telling me that Sharon was done and letting me know sometimes quietly, sometimes not so quietly that I should quit moping around about her and get on with my life. I am so thankful that I kept stubbornly pursuing reconciliation. What is so wonderful now to me is that Sharon and our kids are thankful that I didn’t give up either.

Often there is only one spouse who keeps pursuing reconciliation and believing with God that all things are possible. Do you need to be that one spouse that holds on for dear life to hope for reconciliation with God’s help?

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