K-Love is doing “The Love Dare” from now until Valentine’s Day. It’s a great opportunity to bless your spouse,  if you’ve missed doing “The Love Dare” before with a group of people.

For more information click http://www.klove.com/BLOG/.

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Back in my early 20’s when I was wanting to be married I made a list of three or four women that I had seriously dated and then made a chart of their common character qualities. Some of the qualities that stood out were they were Christians and loved Jesus, they appreciated children, most had some musical inclination, and they were mostly good students.

I continued to look for those and other character qualities in women that I dated after college. They were such consistent qualities in those women I figured they must be significant to me.

When I met Sharon she fit right in with the same character traits which was very encouraging. It confirmed to me that I was on the right track in asking her to marry me.

Flash forward a few years and we have a lot of marriage problems and a separation. I think it is only human in that situation to ask, “Would I have been happier with someone else that was on my list?”. Sharon has even asked me questions like that.

Realistically I believe the answer is, “No, I probably wouldn’t have been happier with these other women.” I know from many personal conversations and my own observations that these women have all had their ups and downs in life and marriage. I am convinced life wouldn’t have been a walk in park with any of them. We may have struggled with some of the very same issues that Sharon and I have and probably a few different ones depending on each person’s personality.

In spite of all of our ups and downs I am still thankful that I asked Sharon to marry me, I am thankful that she said “yes”, and I am thankful that we reconciled.

Sharon and I were separated 16 months and have been back together just over five years.

While our initial reconciliation came relatively fast (we were barely speaking the 1st of October 2004, went to a PAIRS training October 9 which got us unstuck and talking again, started living together again in early December and had a recommittment ceremony January 1, 2005) we are even now in the process of reconciliation.

What I have noticed is that  just living  life brings up issues from our separation that are still painful – issues that maybe we never really talked about. Thankfully now with the tools we have, with the help of Jesus, and having goodwill for one another, we can discuss and make progress on some of those issues.

I am not sure we will ever be done with this reconciliation process but I am thankful that we have the tools to do so much better with issues than we used to in the past.

The International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri, has worship and prayer 24 hours per day. They now have free live web streaming from their prayer room. Go to www.ihop.org and click on The Prayer Room.

Be forewarned: There are many styles of worship – some are quite contemplative and some very upbeat. If you check the schedule I think Worship in the Word hours are more quiet while Intercession Hours are more loud in general.

To me it is neat to know that 24 hours a day I can join with other brothers and sisters in the Lord and be refreshed by His Spirit. If you are ever going through Kansas City, IHOP can be a refreshing place to stop.

I just finished reading “Love and War” by John and Stasi Eldredge.

It’s an awesome book that gives you a lot to think about. If you were hoping for 10 steps to live blissfully ever after, this isn’t the book. If you want a book that inspires you to rise above normal in your marriage in light of the reality that marriage is a struggle – you will like this book.

One  primary message I got was that we as Christians have an enemy who is seeking to destroy our marriages. We have to stay aware of that reality and fight him and not each other.

Another message I got was just the admission that marriage can be hard, even for a couple such as John and Stasi who have had much training in marriage and done a lot of speaking and writing about marriage. They were very authentic about the ups and downs of their relationship, but also give testimony as to how satisfying marriage can be when we truly love God and love our spouse.

If you have enjoyed other Eldredge books such as “Wild at Heart” or “Captivating” I think you will be right at home with this one.

I often hear couples talk about being so different. In my book that doesn’t mean you can’t be happily married.

This little clip is of James Carville, who was instrumental in the Clinton  administration, and Mary Matalin, who was very much a George Bush person. They are married and do a political commentary show.

They have a few humorous comments about staying married with such major differences. I admire their spunk.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2009/12/26/sotu.carville.matalin.2009.cnn?iref=allsearch

Well, I am day late but Merry Christmas everyone. I hope my readers have all had a wonderful holiday, however, I know from experience that if you are separated from your spouse there is probably a lot of pain involved. I am so sorry for your pain.

Only Jesus can heal that deepest pain, and He has promised those who believe in Him as their Savior that “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Just because it is the day after Christmas doesn’t mean that you can’t still play some Christmas music! That’s what I am doing because I always enjoy listening to Manheim Steamroller on YouTube perform “Joy the World” but this year I forgot.

Thanks again to all of my readers out there.

As I ponder the allegations of Tiger Woods’ affairs I realize that but for the grace of God there go I. All sorts of pundits, both Christians and non-Christians, have opinions about “Why?”.  I really don’t know since I haven’t talked to Tiger and he hasn’t publicly said.

I have been pondering the various predominant cultural messages that most of us, including Tiger, have heard over and over for so long:

“If it feels good, do it.”

“There are no moral absolutes.”

The politically correct tolerance seems to be “You have no right to tell me that my behavior might be wrong.”

Pornography for the most part is culturally acceptable.

Multiple hookups before marriage are culturally acceptable.

TV shows such as “Desperate Housewives” apparently glamorize extra- marital sex.

For the most part our nation has no-fault divorce which basically means that if you commit adultery in violation of your marriage vows there are no legal consequences.

“You deserve a break today.”

The evolutionary concept of “survival of the fittest” is hammered home continuously.

The idea that we evolved from animals is repeated over and over.

I am not saying what Tiger is alleged to have done is right, but with the overwhelming messages out there, why are we surprised that someone  acts upon them?